A Beautiful Dream/Reality

I woke up this morning to find this quote on my friend’s facebook status, "That we come to this earth to live is untrue. We come but to sleep, to dream -Aztec poem.” Such a beautiful coincidence since I have been recently fascinated by dreams. I often have powerful dreams, some of which I have accounted through my previous blogpost named Living the Subconscious. Some of my dreams are so vivid that they feel absolutely real while I am dreaming and later I can remember most of the events as if they were real life events.

Among many of my dreams, there is a recent one that shall perhaps remain with me until the end of my journey. I have never given much thought to spiritual aspect of my life, which may be due to the fact that I believe in living the spirituality rather than exploring for its meanings. I believe that one can be spiritual in one’s actions, be it working in an office or merely cooking at home. It is a continuous process rather than an end for me. Hence, my dream came as a shock to me in some ways. I dreamt that I was playing on one of those huge bouncing balls, which was black in color. In the process, I lost control of the ball (on purpose) and started going with the flow. Suddenly I found that I was bouncing on mountain top and my ball rolled me off a cliff. For a fraction of a second, just before I fell, I felt afraid but then immediately after the fall I became calmer. The black ball was in a free fall and so was I. My mind became like a blank space and the only things existed were the fall and I. It was an ultimate freedom that I have ever experienced, a genuine euphoria. I remember thinking in my dream “So this is what nirvana is!”

Although it was just a dream, nirvana (as I know from my dream) is the most beautiful thing ever. It feels so real that I have come to believe that dreams can be as real as reality. I still cannot get my head around to what must have triggered such a beautiful dream but I am thankful to my subconscious for taking me to a place that many of us struggle for. From now on my motto, “ spirituality exists in every action that we do, all we need is a good sincere heart.”

Living the Subconscious!!!

As someone of young age, I am expected to remember things without having to be reminded. Alas, this is not true for me, I tend to forget things very easily, for which, I used to get good scolding from my mother. But even my mom lives far away to nag me anymore. When in boarding school, I came up with a solution to my forgetful mind, which was keeping a diary. I kept a dated dairy throughout my high school and college so that I could note down things with deadlines, which helped me submit assignments on time and attend meetings and activities when and where they were required. I made a very good use of the diary keeping habit and lived a very active life in college, making best of various opportunities given to me.

Last May, I graduated from college and entered work life. Coming out of the protective shell of college was a shock, if not bigger (than when I left home at an age of nine to go to a boarding school), but definitely similar. I no longer had access to free dining services, free cleaning, cheap laundry and walking distance classrooms (my work which is 40 minutes in a taxi). Most of all, I missed my diary, as I was not entitled to one at my work place (with a consultant position). This logic did not seem logical because although I am just a consultant, I believe that I do need to balance my personal and work life and stay organized in order to be productive at work. Instead, I opted to use sticky notes. The only problem with sticky notes is that you can’t really organize them by date and so you need to clutter all to do lists in bullet points, which makes it almost easy to miss deadlines.

I imagine that my brain was having a hard time as well to organize the information and store them using those sticky notes and I started experiencing sub conscious note keeping instead. For example, I was supposed to call the Air Con guy to come fix my AC but I often forgot as I was at work all day and came back home pretty late. So I started dreaming about my AC dripping water all over my apartment and flooding my wooden floor. I called the AC guy right away and got it fixed. Next thing was when I was trying to send some money home to pay for my sisters’ living expenses in Kathmandu because they just finished high school and they are preparing for some entrance examinations for college. I forgot to transfer money for couple days and I dreamt about my mother not telling me the exact amount that I needed to transfer. So I called my mom the next day to get her account details and sent the money right away. Once in office, we were discussing on fixing date for a meeting to be fixed for the upcoming year and everyone was pretty tensed up. The following night, I dreamt about having a hard time to meet the deadline for preparation of the meeting and facing others hurdles at the office.

Having these kinds of dreams has been an out of ordinary experience, and at the same time, it has definitely proved to me that subconscious mind is stronger than we think they are. At times, they are not hesitant to show their presence.